Finally back at home and in my room after 2 weeks of Laotian life! Yes, I look tired and very shagged but am feeling very fulfilled. Ha...


Finally back at home and in my room after 2 weeks of Laotian life!
Yes, I look tired and very shagged but am feeling very fulfilled.
Happy to be back at the same time though //

Will update with pictures from my iPhone soon hehehe

One of our last meetings, Uniqlo sponsored heat techs for us. So awesome :') Testing out our games at the void deck, I ju...


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One of our last meetings, Uniqlo sponsored heat techs for us. So awesome :')

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Testing out our games at the void deck,

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I just love my neighbourhood's kids. They're my friends now :'D

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Whattup.


After 4-5 months of preparation,

My team and I are READY TO HEAD OFF TO LAOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Omg I am so excited. Yet calm at the same time?

I can't believe that everything has eventually come down to this. All our canvassing like carwashing, Laos day for publicity, scouting for funding, weekly meetings.... are all done and ready to be tested and meted out tomorrow onwards!!

For the entire semester, I think I invested the most time on OCIP but it has been a joy doing this. Time sacrificed but all worth it. (I had to cancel about 3-4 dates with my friends this week just to devote last minute preparation all to OCIP. So sorry guys but I'll meet y'all in the new year!!)

Some things turned out better than expected like canvassing, member-turn up rate for meetings and packing of logistics today (freaking fast only 2-3 hours I thought entire day) and some not so... actually no leh? I can't think of anything that didn't turn out so well. Maybe some financial issues and planning, but for now, we're all ready to go man.

So lucky to have a team like this. And now we're just all ready to get out and do some awesome work.

For some reason, I've a feeling everything will go fine.

But I still have worries about possible problems that may crop up like safety and health, bonding amongst members, Laotians.

I say Laotians, because since so many OCIP teams have been to the village since I went last year, I'm afraid they will be a bit too used to foreigners and my team won't experience the true Laos spirit. At the same time, I think whatever comes, comes. And it'll still be awesome.

Aiya, I'll just live the Laotian way for the next 2 weeks. I hope... to be able to unwind myself and not be caught up in matters that aren't worth my worrying over. Also, I want to have a taste of how leading a team overseas is like! I think it's gonna be excitingggg, with Yunxuan and Sianpei : ) They've been my sisters the past few months.

To be honest, when I started off this journey at the beginning of this semester in August, I was actually quite scared. VERY in fact. Dunno if y'all could sense it in my older posts, despite me saying that I was more excited than scared. PI AH, I was actually really quite nervous? But I didn't really want to show my scaredy cat-ness hahaha. I didn't know what to expect and how problem solving along with decision making should happen. It was my first time. Like sex. Virgin. But I'm happy I have my friends to help me along and I learn as well. It's impossible for me to do it alone and the team has been awfully helpful with that. And I always use my experience from the last 2 OCIP trips to guide me along and let me be more confident in decision making.

Now, I just can't believe everything has come down to this. And I will continue learning. Definitely things will crop up, but I will be ready to deal with them along with the team.

Can't wait to show y'all more pictures again. Maybe what has changed since my last OCIP trip to Laos? During recce trip in September, I was quite happy some students remembered me when I showed a picture of me with long hair and them. I saw bright bright smiles from the Laos students and thinking about it now just makes ME feel happy. I think going back shows them that we do care... and that it's not like 'I went there once and never gonna go back again.'

Only this time round, it could really be my last time back at the village and that saddens me : ( I hate these kinda things. I always tell myself not to cry, but I still end up crying. Sigh.

To replicate the same awesomeness I experienced last year was one of my worries, but now, I actually think that's quite lame lah that I got stressed over thinking that, for this year, I have to make sure things will be just as awesome. But, I know that whatever that happens will be special for this team and me. Whatever that we experience, will be unique this year. Different people on the team with different surprises to offer. I can only look forward to what's to come and chide myself for having doubted anything like that.

Initially, I wanted to type some encouraging last message to all my team members, then I withdrew. Coz after reading all their "Before Laos" blog posts on our Weetrip blog page (http://weetriplaos.wordpress.com/), I thought, let them be. Their worries are so honest and amusing to read that they're endearing. And I like how they're articulating these thoughts on to the blog, with all their "omg, we're going to have thousands of mosquitoes" "gonna have to bathe in icy water!??". I think they have a lot of these worries that I feel they should deal with themselves and experience how it's gonna be like without me having to allay their worries before the trip.

I think everything will turn out all right eventually. And it'll be a fun trip for all of us : )


Anyway, I'll be missing out on a lot of Singapore news while I'm there coz no wifi no internet in the village. Only during R&R but oh well I'm only glad that I'm devoid of the Internet. Ah~~

Singapore news- Frankly speaking, I know it's insensitive to say this, but I'm kinda happy that the Little India Riot happened? It has provoked more Singaporeans to talk about issues that matter in our society and I think that's important. No doubt though, it was a seriously unfortunate incident that a foreign worker was killed and an angry mob started tearing down the street leaving police cars and an ambulance damaged. But it served as a wake up call to Singapore. How the government reacted to the situation, what Singaporeans had to say about the foreign worker issue, race issue even, and how our history textbooks are gonna change haha.

All in all, I'm gonna come back to Singapore with hopefully a renewed sense of I dunno, whatever it is and hopefully more stories and pictures to share! : )

SEE YOU GUYS 2 WEEKS LATER!!! Probably in the New Year. Flight's at 1:30pm today, I'm off!



Merry Christmas and a Happy 2014 to you all!!!!!

When I was younger, I used to think crying was stupid. Like it's a sign of weakness. Why must cry, so weak. I still think crying is so...

When I was younger, I used to think crying was stupid. Like it's a sign of weakness. Why must cry, so weak.

I still think crying is sometimes quite loser.

But, I've come to realise crying is cathartic and is quite therapeutic. Especially when you cry till you're so tired then you just wanna sleep lol.

Feelings can be so... Erratic. So I say, every time I feel happy I should revel in it.

At the same time, I think bad feelings should be embraced as well. People say that we should disregard negative feelings such as anger, jealousy and sadness.

But, I actually think that feelings make us truly human. To not fully embrace these feelings would mean that you're just being ignorant about your own thoughts and feelings. Feelings are natural and I think people shouldn't feel ashamed about how they feel. We should allow ourselves to be angry at things and sad at others. It's normal for humans to feel that way. We're really vulnerable actually.

And in society, we're conditioned to act in certain ways.

If we're talking about gender, I'm sure guys can be just as emotional as girls. But as guys, they're supposed to be manly and not express feelings like sadness. So crying would be deemed... Unmanly. And for girls, well we're expected to be more understanding and sympathetic because we're supposedly more attuned to our own feelings. But if I give an example of homosexuals, like gays, they're biologically male but gays are known to be more expressive of their feelings right? How is that so? Aren't they biologically born to have male instincts to be less expressive? So actually, gays and men aren't any different and men should also have the "capacity" to express feelings. It's just... Societally they're not supposed to. You could argue that gays are different coz mentally they're "girls". But then again, that's the societal mindset of thinking if you get what I mean.  It's merely a mindset. Biologically, they're born the same way as all guys. So if you think about it, biologically males and females are just as emotional. It's just how we're expected to act differently in society.

If we look at culture,

I think Singaporeans are known to be one of the least expressive people in the world. In the exact words I remember it to be "most emotionless nation". No kidding, I read it off some survey. That's quite sad lah, means that whatever we feel... We just don't express. I guess it's sorta Asian to do so. Like if we are happy we don't exactly go around expressing our joy. Sadness, we bottle it all up inside. Anger too. We just never say or talk about it. I don't really know why actually, we're just programmed culturally. And I think growing up in a society like that, I'm sorta like that too? Going to New Zealand taught me how different us Asians and angmohs express feelings.

So I think this affects a lot of aspects of the Arts. Ever wondered why angmohs are SO good at singing and dancing? I've always thought that their ability to express their feelings in their singing and dancing is the reason why. If you think about it, the Arts require a lot of emotions put into it. When you sing, you cannot merely sing the lyrics without feeling what you sing. Lyrics are like poems that need to be sung with emotions and feelings otherwise it's merely karaoke.

And dance. You cannot dance without feeling whatever you're dancing for. How do you move to the rhythm and melody? When you look at Asian dancers, Asians ALWAYS get the technicality right. 10 upon 10 for flexibility and right angles. But artistically, a person has to be good at expressing emotions. It's like the movie Black Swan. Natalie Portman's character was SO good at technicality and was hitting all the right notes and moves. Yet, her coach was always pushing her to feel more like the Black Swan and express her deepest darkest emotions, not just be robotically acting like she was. He even compared her to Mila Kunis' character who was to the contrary. In the end, when Natalie Portman finally DID express all her emotions into her dance, she nailed it. She nailed her performance. But she died lah in the end lol. But you get my point. For everything, it's not only discipline that you need, but the ability to connect with your emotions and be able to express it.

So sometimes, I wish I could be more honest about my feelings. Both with myself and others. Sometimes I feel upset with myself for even being sad coz I'd chide myself for being sad over small menial things. Like getting a B+ for a grade when I was expecting an A (nabeh). And if people ask me if I'm sad, I usually try to mask it and say no I'm not. But actually, deep down lol LYING LOR. Actually I'd even get angry with people asking if I'm sad HAHA. So now I'll try not to be too harsh on myself. Sad is sad. Angry is angry. I cannot run away from my feelings. They're what makes me human.

Yeap, that's my take on feelings. We're living in a "liberal" society yet we don't have the liberty to live the way we want sometimes. Ah well, life goes on you see guys, life is still meaningful don't commit suicide after my post ah.

5 years ago, when I was 16, I attended a neighbour's 21st birthday at her house. She had so many friends coming over, uni friends, jc...


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5 years ago, when I was 16, I attended a neighbour's 21st birthday at her house. She had so many friends coming over, uni friends, jc friends, secondary school friends. I was so amazed by it and was even envious man. So many friends together at one place! I thought to myself, I'm gonna have the exact same thing.

And damn right I was after many years of imagining how it'd be like.

Here I am in 2013, having held my own 21st birthday in October right at my house with all the awesomest friends in the world. Little did I know 5 years ago that I would have done this and invited such a pool of people and enjoyed myself to the fullest.

Yes, I've always thought that I'm so narcissistic COME ON GUYS COME CELEBRATE ME TURNING 21 BITCHES. Rock on. Pull up your pants.

I told everyone not to give me anything coz I sincerely wished only for a day that I'd be surrounded by my friends and family. Oh, I only invited my friends over coz I always think friends+extended family is damn freakin weird. So I invited my NEIGHBOURS HAHAHA.

But anyway, I got so much that I never asked for. Cards full of love and prezzies that I will fully make use of and make sure they become rotten like my horrendous OP wallet. I shall save that story for another day.

And just simply being there and spending with me a day I fully turn into an adult. 21 is seriously THE milestone. I foresee so much more that will begin with my life from now on.

This is true because.. it is only this year, when I turn 21, that I truly am confident in achieving what I am aiming for in life, ambition wise. I've always known what I wanted but the path is very much clear now.

It is also this year when I feel the most comfortable in my skin. Being able to live my life and act just like how I feel. Growing up has been painful, well not really, I describe it like I went through shit and bricks, but the road to 21 was quite a battle. Being confident with being just me and myself, took a long time. I think I can only look at this in retrospect. Whilst growing up, I think I was a bit hard with myself and I didn't realise that. Not even my secondary school friends.

Only one friend saw that. And it was my long-time old friend Rebecca.

Maybe it's because she hadn't been interacting with me much only until recently for god knows what reason. I think it's when she came to NTU. Anyway, I've known her since primary school and during secondary school we drifted quite a bit. After reconnecting, I think we've noticed how the other changed. She's no longer boyish, she loves to look good and dress up now. Something I never would've imagined. For her, she wrote to me in my birthday card that she was glad to see that I've grown so much more confident now than before. When I read that, I felt so... I dunno what I felt but I thought that she identified something that only she knew and only I realised. It was just a simple card, with simple words, but it epitomised my whole coming of age thing.

I'm glad I've reached this stage and if I had known what I know now when I was younger, I'd be a little less harsh on myself. Growing up is such. You always want to tell your younger self something that could've altered your way of perceiving things then. But, I guess life is like that. It's kinda nice knowing that you managed to get to where you are now despite many things in life. Yet, I'm thankful for the experiences coz I attribute much of where I am now to them. Without experiencing some things, you just can never grow.

So 21, I am ready to face the world. In less than 2 years' time, I'm gonna graduate from NTU and the world is gonna be my freakin oyster. My friends and I have always talked about our dreams and aspirations. I think it's so important to have them, otherwise life has zilch meaning. And it's not just about what I want to be career wise. It's also about love, food, the world or the economy, whichever that comes first to you haha. Whatever that holds true to your heart and means a lot to you.

Anyway, the theme for my birthday was Be Bold and Beautiful coz to me, that's what makes the world go round hahaha. And so, I dressed up in an Indian Sari. Something I've always wanted to be dressed in and I LUVVIT. The first time I laid eyes on the sari, I knew that that would be it. I tied it all by myself yo. Chinese girls learns to tie sari after watching Youtube videos just twice. Kudos to me. And I pasted a bindi on everyone's forehead like it was a rite of passage to enter my house nyahahah.

I was hoping to see more siao costumes and outfits by my friends, but it's ok, like you guys said, being yourself is already bold and beautiful enough -.- Well I award you the Ms World title yay.


So pictures HERE WE GO!

I cut my hair again like 2 weeks before the celebration so it was way short again. (2 months later now, it's back to being just nice)


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The fabulous Coral Sexcondary School people.
Truly, the time when I met lifelong friends. All of them so bold and beautiful on my birthday : )

Missing a number of people. Vivien and Alicia who are studying in Australia. Yijie who is having the time of her life on exchange in Hongkong and Jiaqi. But Jiaqi came earlier in the morning at 1:38am to deliver me a pie that she baked specially for moi :'DDD So grateful. She had another birthday to attend but it's ok I forgive coz the pie was damn nice and she cycled all the way to my house!!!!!!! I was just about to sleep btw until my brother was like, "I really think it's your friend" after brushing him aside like 10,000 times thinking how can anyone be outside my house at this time. Really? Prince Charming? Hell yeah I'll let down my long hair.

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Awesome ballz.
Well that's what the whatsapp group is called lol.
Yenhuei was wearing so beautifully that day aww! Touched.

Anyway, sometimes I feel like my secondary school days were like, girl school days. Now that I think of it, I don't think I actually went to a mixed school. I think I went to a girls' school lah?! All my bestfriends are GIRLS siah. So much so that a number of people have mistaken that I went to a girls' school and I have to tell them no, I went to Coral. I think I possess the girls' school girl personality. What I believe so... is that because I went to a mixed school, my potential (hahaha) was not developed. And I suppose luckily so?! Coz my perception of them girls are like... you're just either butch or bimbotic or um, just really bitchy. The latter applies to every girls' school girl. Really eh, test it out fo yo self. No offence to all my friends who went to girls' schools HAHAHHAAH. I love you just the way you are~ feat. Bruno Mars.


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JC PEEPZ.
I'm sorry you guys are such a small group coz I must be honest that TPJC wasn't the best time of my life HAHAH. Even so I'm glad to still have these people around meeting up on the RANDOMEST of occasions. And still be able to talk about shit. I'm glad we're all past the green uniform stage yet still connected.


On to Uni life

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SIYOUX

I only see my juniors at the benches in school but I guess my birthday shall be a way to reconnect.

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My retarded friends. What would I do without yáll.
We started out so awkward. And I'm happy to say that..... We're still so awkward.
Yayyyyyyy. Hahahah k lah, glad to be awesomez friends, I think it's fate we were brought together as a team in the first place.
Whenever I think wkw, I think you guys.


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The most gorgeous people in school, Joshua, Jasmine and Lucas.

This semester, we haven't been meeting often but these people will give you the best JOKES AND FUN. Wkw people do this best. And these 4 are special too : )


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The endless videos we made together and slogging out. Holy mother. But all worth it lah.
So talented everyone here. Good actors, good directors, good cameramen, the people who taught me what the hell excellence was. What a stellar cast and crew.


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OLD OCIP TEAM :'DDDD

I will NEVER forget the amount of good fun we had. Never. Up till today, one year on, I can only  think of good things from that trip. And good things only.

And soon I will be bringing,

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THIS TEAM

to where it all began.
Wow, the level of cheesiness was just overloaded.
But, truly, I can't wait. I am so damn excited. I forced everyone to come to my birthday celebration but I guess my level of dictatorship needs to up a level. Soon you will see.
As you can also see, the girl beside me is my younger sister. Everyone say hi to Mak Soo. I also only just found out that day. Hahahahah goodness we seriously look like sisters in this picture.


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The beautiful Atheena. She has a face that spells b-itch but she is one of the most FUN and HILARIOUS person everrrrr. Throw in nice as well. Like an elder sister.


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MAY TIAN Teehee.

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Flower Fiona and beautiful Rebecca


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Tan Hui Quan!!!!
My only hall friend who could make it :'D
One of my prettiest friends and retarded as well. She's awesome and I'm so glad to have found her in uni : )
Suxin and Ruilin are in freakin Taiwan having exchange now. Livin the damn life. And missin out on our birthdays pfffft.


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Amelia!
Israel will always be one place I'd visit in the future. This girl travelled the freakin Middle East, like Jordan Iran and sorry but they really are god forsaken places. Nobody wants to go there coz they're known to be war-torn countries. But it's BECOZ of that, which makes these places so enticing.

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;D

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And please, how can I forget Tan Yuan Yun.
You're stuck with me since Secondary school no choice, but I know you're also happy that I'm stuck with you hahahah. Congrats my lovely friend you know, first to break the mould :'D HAHA.

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Profile peekcha teehee.

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Sorry but I love this picture to bits.
Our kiampah faces, will be a win for many years to come.

Ooh btw, to keep up with the supposed "Indian" theme, the food was also Indian WOOOHOOO. Indian food never fails I tell ya.


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My erm, very retarded juniors hahahaha but lovely as well.

Back in the house,

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I dunno what in the world they were clapping for. Well I guess I must've made the speech of the century.
Nelson Mandela what? Haha God bless him in heaven now.

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So much happiness oozing here

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My cute neighbours ahhh..

And then there is the sibling.

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The one who does the stupidest things with you and can read you like a book.

I get mistaken as the elder sister many times. He looks young ugh. I think coz I'm more driven than my brother lah, he's always just so relax and chill I cannot stand it haha. No stress = SK II face. And I guess he's blessed with my mother's "young looking" genes.


Anyway, my senior Xiangyun made this awesome tower of muffins for my birthday and it's so special and unique I'm so happy she made this just for me : ) Her first time creating this as well...

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: )

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Just me makin the speech of my life and blowing out my candles.
I decided not to cross my fingers and close my eyes but instead just share my wish with everyone who was willing to spend the evening with me. I only wish for it to come true for all of us : )

I dunno who I'm gonna meet and what other friends I will make in the future, but for now, these are the best that I have.

And they truly are the best.

Thanks for one of the most enjoyable nights of my life.

OLAAAA Yes yes I've been a bad ass, shit ass blogger not updating for more than a month. I've never done this before. I promise yo...

OLAAAA

Yes yes I've been a bad ass, shit ass blogger not updating for more than a month. I've never done this before. I promise you I will blog about my life ASAP soon. Maybe today and later!

My 21st birthday yessiree and many other things in life that needs updating.

In a week's time, I'd be in Laos already!!!! Goodness, and you'll have to miss me again for 2 weeks, and see me in the new year. But before the 13th of December arrives, I will give you as many blog posts as I can ;D

For now, I'm caught up with planning and meetings and just everything that's left to touch up before we lift off. MUCH excitessss.

So yes, I will leave it as it is for now and will be back. You, yes you, better not leave me. Coz Zapyou won't leave you. The chickenbackside won't leave you. So you can't.

TAA SEE YA REAL SOON.