Meet-up with my Sioux GLs to celebrate the two January babies' birthdays.

One of the reasons why sometimes I'd feel bad going home over the weekends hahaha. It's like I paid this amount, so I must make bloody full good use of my time staying here.

$1360 ÷ 4 months = $340 a month

I've gotten used to my hall already. The toilets don't seem so dirty anymore and the weather isn't as stifling either. I think I just got an adaptation shock when I first landed here haha. I slept well last night, clocked in 8 hours WHOOO. Sleep is essential man. Been sleeping at 12 plus the past few days wow.

The title of the book on the left first caught my eye.
I found a quiet spot and then opened it.

I never left the library until 4 hours later.

Partly because it started to pour and I found a reason to just stay in the library.

By 7pm, I had already read half the book and I must say... the book was arresting. I had never been so absorbed in a book in my entire life.

I could relate to SO MUCH of what the book was saying. To have a Religion of One's Own.

It is a book for everyone - religious, agnostic, atheist, you name it. It talks about how you can subscribe yourself to a traditional religion, that's perfectly fine - the author himself is a catholic and was in fact a monk for 12 years. But in the secular world of today, you should also be open to the teachings of other religions and create a religion of your own.

One part of the book, which was the eighth page of the book, just summed this up so nicely for me:

"The new kind of religion asks that you move away from being a follower to being a creator. I foresee a new kind of spiritual activity, in which we no longer decide whether to believe in a given creed and follow a certain tradition blindly. Now we allow ourselves a healthy and even pious skepticism. Most important, we no longer feel pressure to choose one tradition over another. This new religion is a blend of individual inspiration and inspiring tradition."

The last sentence: word.

It's not that we forget about the current religions of the world, but use it as a way of guidance. At the same time, one cannot blindly follow traditional and institutionalised religions. The world is always changing and we cannot merely believe in ancient scriptures forever. I reckon that's why fundamentalists are still around in the world today causing major upheavals. Cue: IS militants sigh.

It's just like how people stop binding women's feet in Chinese tradition and slicing female genitalia in African tradition (this one still controversial). Yes, it's tradition but if you look at these traditions with a skeptical eye, damn, it is so wrong. And we have to move on....... To crocs shoes and high heels hahahaha. But I mean seriously, sometimes we cannot always blindly believe and follow.


Another part of the book also rang true to me:

"Religion begins in the sensation that your life makes sense within a larger one.... You may even realise ultimately that your soul participates in the world's soul."

I've always felt that way... I'm part of this bigger thing and whenever I feel like I stop thinking about myself and picture myself looking down on this world in a bigger scale, life just seems so much bigger than it is compared to the little things we bother about day to day.

And whenever I do this, I feel like I can empathise with people better coz I'm not thinking about myself. I remove myself from my self and feel like I can properly be in another person's shoes and position.

We can never live in this world without a religion because one always has to be in touch with our souls. We're always seeking for deeper meaning in our lives and I think this is when we must find a spiritual connection with ourselves. For me, I believe I will remain a free thinker but am always seeking out teachings of religions everywhere. I must say however, one particular religion seems to be screaming out to me and I still am confused though. It will always be a constant search within myself.

Back to the book. Perhaps, I was drawn to this book because I was ACTUALLY looking for it. Like, I already knew that this was what I wanted as answers. I wasn't blindly looking for answers but actually looking for answers that resided best within me. Maybe I actually want to be told about this.

I was of course skeptical about other things in the book like Guardian Angels and Mystics, but on the whole, the book really summed up everything that I was looking for so nicely.


The other book "Why is God laughing" was, unlike the other, read within ONE DAY. I took a number of days/weeks of procrastination to finish the other but this one... ONE DAY AND I COMPLETED IT. Remember, I'm a slow reader. So... I got really engrossed in this one.

It's a narrative, instead of self-help so it proved to be easy.

I actually only started reading it last week and I must say... I feel like there was so much of a coincidence for me when I opened this book.

I remember asking a friend, "What is your greatest weakness?". When she asked what mine was, I couldn't reply and was slightly embarrassed because I couldn't answer a question that I posed to her. But after more than a month of soul-searching, I told her last week, I know the answer to it. And that would be.... my ego. I don't necessarily see myself as an egoist but I feel like I still have quite an ego that I would rather not have too much of.

And guess what? The day that I announced my biggest weakness, was also the day when I learnt how to let go of that weakness. It was all in this book.

I can't describe to you what the story is about because it would be such a big spoiler. But I must also say it is a deeply personal and moving story to me, so I can't really pen it down in words. You just gotta read it for yourself.


With that, my due date for the return of the books is 27th January. That's tomorrow. I'm gonna drop it at White Sands library where I first found them. So if you wanna grabbit, they are there for the taking fwahahaha.

On a side note, my FYP seems to be moving in a positive direction. I am looking forward to what the coming weeks will bring~  Am staying positive.

Also, I'm really getting used to staying in hall. More life in hall posts to come haha.

Also also also, I just watched "The Imitation Game". So good. so so good. Better than Theory of Everything for me. That one, overrated. But Benedict Cumberbatch? Nah, this one is never overrated hahahaha oh don't you just love Brit boys?




At 1:50, check out that lip bite... ovaries exploded ya.

You think girls are complicated in the head? I think guys are also complicated in the head leh.
This is so annoying. I think as a person who communicates a lot through words and talking, I find it hard to read people sometimes. Sigh, am I the only person in the world who does this?? Talking it out helpssss, it's catharticccc, let me help youuuu.

Aiya, just some of my rantings ya. People are the most complicated creatures, yet I find them intriguing but vexing at times too. I love to read people, and I find my readings quite acute especially after knowing someone for quite a while. Even if I don't know you personally but seen you around, I trust my judgments and instincts really well.

But, it's tough sometimes too. I know my first impression judgments are pretty bad though hahaha. Especially when I don't know a person well. So, help me help you make me understand you by talking or writing. Dr. Tan is here and the world will be a lot less complicated and much more

~simple~

Feels so good to see the last column become zero. That means all my AUs (credit) are cleared.
And if all things go smoothly, I will graduate. (but what if....................... haha let's not think about that eh)


Anyway, here's some good music for your pleasure~




I came back to this old song after watching Boyhood on the plane. Such a good show.. spanning 12 years wow.





Don't know about you, but I've always thought Chinese is a beautiful language.
I love love love this song that Kit Chan recently sang at the Chinese singing contest. Everyone was sharing her performances on Facebook. And I particularly love this song that she sang.
Love the way the piano dips and drops as well.


Anyway I caught a flu and was blowing away like a trumpet last night and today. I swear it's da HEAT man. I've always loved Singapore's hot weather but man... the past few days yow. It's crazy yaw. Makes my body feel superbly heaty coughs.

Alright alright, it's been 3 days of school so far and 2 nights of sleeping in hall.

I had a tough time adjusting on Tuesday night. Couldn't fall asleep. Last night as well. This morning I woke up so early at 5:30am and couldn't fall back to sleep. Ate an apple and some almonds before I fell back to bed at 7:30am.

I'm already done with a week of lessons. And I'm pretty much set on my timetable already!

Tuesday - Interpersonal Communication Lecture & FYP Seminar
Wednesday - Working in 21st Century
Thursday - Interpersonal Communication Tutorial + Faith And Art

The reason why I highlighted Faith And Art in red is because... I'm "auditing" that class. Thanks to a random passerby who tagged here and suggested I try auditing. He/she explained that auditing would mean that I get to sit in class without doing any assignments or sit for exams. It is purely for the lessons. What an awesome thing, and I'm doing it for this class purely for the sake of learning.

I'm really interested in Faith And Art. It's about interpreting Religion in Art forms, how bloody fascinating. I went for today's lesson to consider taking it up, but after realising that there would be a ton of work to do and the fact that I'm taking this mod and eventually S/Uing it (which means to void the module), I don't wanna give half-hearted work. I don't want to just take it and then try to pass it by giving sloppy work. I know such a topic requires effort, yet I can't afford to juggle FYP with this so I really don't want to stress myself over it when all I want to do is have fun learning this! So... Audit it shall be. Essentially, it's just me spending time listening in on these lectures.

I went to the Professor, introduced myself, explained my situation and asked if I could sit in her lessons and learn for the next 13 weeks. She said, "Sure!!". Maybe she's angmoh and thus, very pro-learning. She was so chirpy about it. I already feel excited about attending lessons. It's my first time taking an ADM module and I don't wanna leave Uni not having tried something different.


So, as you can see, I only have 3 days of school. The rest, I'm freeing up for FYP.

And my stay in hall won't be wasted because I foresee myself spending quite a lot of days mugging and editing FYP and writing reports. Whew.


I decided to take a stroll around my hall. Ok, actually I just took a lift going up and down my block coz apparently there's a sky terrace!! Wow! Decided to checkkit out.


Chyyyehhh, mehh, neh wasn't even the slightest bit impressed by the "sky terrace"

A little more pictures of the opposite block (a total of 4 blocks I believe) and basketball court:





I was more impressed by the other side though,


Pretty impressive huh?
It's the soccer pitch at the sports & recreation centre.

And the wind is massive up there, check the wind blowing my hair out:

boomz.


Wanna check out the best view, which is none other than the one from my room?

The view that I'm looking at RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT?



THE VIEW THAT I SEE EVERY SINGLE DAY WHEN I WAKE UP?




WAIT FOR IT......



ANTICIPATE........


HOLD YOUR BREATH.....


LO&BEHOLD, THE ONE AND ONLY,



Le'sigh. It's prison break I tell you. My room is actually quite stuffy. Believe me, when I open the door, the wind outside is cooler than it is inside with the fan. So I guess I gotta get out when I need a breather and some fresh air.

The building is structured in a circular, semi-circle way such that you can't see or peep at the resident opposite you. Like, you can only see either the shelves or well, just something else.

Darn it.


I had dinner with Rebecca yesterday, catching up like there was no tomorrow. Glad to have a friend who stays in hall too, which means at least one dinner of the week won't be lonely :') I hope to see her every now and then if I can!

All right, I'm off to shower and then I'mma start reading up on some notes. Play some music, meditate and sleep.

(btw speaking of shower, I was really irked by the toilets - poor toilets in a new hall. already damaged by humans' inconsideration. why can't people live more cleanly, hygienically and graciously? especially when we all have to share common spaces D; )

An email was sent in last night to me. I had to read it twice to make sure I was reading it correctly.

It took a while before it sank in, because so many things happened to me yesterday. My feelings went up and down, up and down, fluctuating non-stop throughout the day, it was crazy.

So when this piece of news came in, my heart went crazy again and I couldn't really fathom or fully take it in.

This, was what happened:



I covered my mouth with my hand and then said to myself, "WHAT?!"

And followed by more "What?!"s






You mean THIS, documentary short film got selected to be in a Film Festival in Barcelona??? BARCELONA?!

THIS ONE?!??! REALLY?????


I decided to play the skeptic and researched on this film festival.

And here's what I found:


You mean... out of 5,540 films, Stream Dream was one of the 345 films selected to take part??!?! Whut whut whutttttt!? Omg, this is crazy! If I did my math correctly, top 6% of films in the festival?? THIS IS CRAAAAZY I DON"T BELIEVE IT!!!!

I actually gave up after rejections from a couple. In fact I submitted to as many film festivals that I could, with little expectations especially since there were so many that were international.

Furthermore, I always thought our documentary was a so-so. Like I got a B+ for it at school man.



And there I was alone in my room yesterday, my single room in hall, with no one to share the good news with.

The first two people who came to my mind were of course Reshma and Zhuoda. And I was wondering how to break it to them.

The reason why this piece of news could possibly mean so much to us is that...

Our school would take the team to wherever the film is accepted, to the place where the film festival is held.

Last year's Go-Far video team had a chance to fly to Seattle, where their film was accepted.

And so this year............. Are we heading to Barcelona this April???!!?!!??!?! O.M.G.

I really don't know what to think. I really don't. I even wonder whether the festival sent the email to the right person.

What's crazy is that, I am still the only bearer of this piece of good news. Which means no one else knows this except you and I.

And I'm still thinking about how to break it to my team mates. How to break it to the world. It's sum crazy sh*t ya know!?!


I'm still in a state of disbelief. I'm not putting my hopes up high about going to Barcelona though because it could be a festival that doesn't need its film makers present. Moreover, April is one helluva busy period for us. FYP submission and a lot of due dates.

But. WHATEVER, I'm not gonna jump the gun. Instead, IMMA SOAK IN THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW because this achievement is still something. Almost like an affirmation that all the effort we put in was worth it.


See ya lata, amigos. *screams

Well, clicking the "submit" button was nerve-wrecking.
It's 4:30am right now and I underestimated the time it took to actually properly do up 1) Resume 2) Cover Letter 3) Autobiographical essay 4) Website to showcase works

Mother, I think I took more than a few days.

Will I stand a chance? I really don't know man. It's AP. I think the world wants to be hired by them hahaha. I mean, I feel like a drop in the ocean out of (probably) thousands of applicants!

But, fingers crossed.

Btw, I changed all my location choices. Because.... JERUSALEM WAS GONE. I dunno why but I no longer saw the option of Jerusalem. Instead, I saw Johannesburg. I really questioned myself as to whether I confused the Jays. But seriously, I SAW ISRAEL, I SAW IT THERE. My bro thinks someone snagged the placement already. I thought maybe coz it's too dangerous? So they decided to remove it. Haha, I dunno.

I was devastated ok, and had to re-read like numerous times coz I really wanted to go to Israel. Guess I'm not holy enough yet to step on the Holy Land. Or it's... A SIGN. But that's all right. I recovered after days and nights sobbing to myself hahaha I kid.

Anyways, I got down to rethinking my choices. And a few nights ago, the song "Carolina" by Kimbra came up on my iPhone.

And.. yes... I was thinking... Carolina.. North Carolina??!?! Is that it?!?! An option for that, yes??? Am I heading to America????

So I went to check on the website if there was that option.


Nah, couldn't find the word 'Carolina'.

But out of the typical major cities like Los Angeles, Miami and New York, there were options like Sacromento, Phoenix and Raleigh.

Clearly I'm not American so I didn't know which cities were those and had to go check up on those states.

Sacromento - California.

Phoenix - Arizona.

And finally....

Guess what? Raleigh...


NORTH CAROLINA.

Bloody hell!!!! I went to do a bit of research on Raleigh and it turns out to be a safe, quiet city with loadsa cafes, bars and restaurants. Probably closes early at night. I thought to myself, good lord, it's gonna be another small town.. so boring. But one thing stood out to me and the Internet said 'many hiking spots available'. And my mind went woohoo! I'm down!

Not only that though, after a bit more researching... The Guardian ranked Raleigh the number 1 city in the US to live and work. So I'm double down.

These are my choices
1st: Raleigh, North Carolina, USA.
2nd: London, UK
3rd: Johannesburg, South Africa

I seriously dunno what my chances are lah really. I'm applying and trying to test waters. What's funny is that my first choice now is even further away than before... America. You know, I recently told a friend that the one place that I have absolutely no interest of visiting is... Yeah, America. So I must seriously be possessed dude. POSSESSED. But, I really never know. Surprise me America. Surprise me more than what I see on my T.V! I'm sure there's more to the US than crazy whacks, guns, and How I Met Your Mother.

Another reason why I rejigged all my options was because, I read the requirements thoroughly again and realised that I have to be able to understand "the local language of the assigned country". I don't think I speak Hebrew or understand a word of Portuguese? So English language countries are all that I can go to. They have no option of China unfortunately, otherwise I might have a go.

I can't speak Afrikaans but I assume the working language of Johannesburg is English fwahhaa.


So that's life now. School's starting soon. I'm moving into hall soon. And I hope my FYP gets started soon. *YANKS HAIR*

I tell ya, I'm stickin' to my NY's resolution with this baby yow!!!!

I didn't want flashy colours and there was a purple/pink version to this model but it was too girly for me. I really don't care about the brand, Nike Adidas Asics Reebok what have you. But my parents aka The Bank, and I were at Shaw Isetan and well, Nike was there so hello shoes. I will use you and abuse you till you open like crocs' mouths. I'm really good at using my shoes till they're super old.

But I must say I bought them partly because I would feel a little embarrassed of using my current running shoes - not coz they are super worn, but because they are NS SHOES!!!! Discounted from my brother's army points. Can't help but think people notice them and think I'm a major cheapo. Which I am (big lawl). But still, gotta give in to societal pressures sometimes HAHAHA. And well, the ones above are considered my first love coz I got to select them and be proud of abusing them : D

I didn't buy running shoes in JC because I wanted to prove that no matter how rich/poor you are, you can always make it in running. And I really did improve running times from above to below 16 minutes for NAPHA 2.4km. Not bad I say with lousy canvas shoes.



Movin' on,

Here are 3 things I uncovered while doing a little spring cleaning before Christmas. Winter cleaning in fact.



ONE: 


I finally opened 2 years' worth of angbaos. (2013 and 2014)
And I discovered two NZD100 in one of em. Currency is similar so that's SGD 200. Who was that angel??? I guessed it right and asked that aunt. She sounded disappointed though coz "The money was supposed to be for your New Zealand exchange!!!"

Whoops. Damn. Sorry. Should have ripped these red packets early.

Well, CNY is coming anyways. I have learnt my lesson. But I'm happy to have this cute aunty who is so supportive and cheeky!



THREE:


Anyways, Jacqueline Wilson books are awesome. The illustrations make reading so fun and awesome as well.


Yesterday night with these ladies from my freshman year in Hall 3!

I can smell it. 2015 is gonna be hella awesome. It's not like other years.. this year, will be different and awesome!!!

I will be hitting a few significant milestones - my graduation and my first jobbbb.

I remember what 2014's resolution was: to be closer to my friends and family. I achieved it. But only halfway. I became really really close to my family but friends, not so much. So THIS YEAR.


I have a few resolutions (3?) if you don't mind me hehe. The last one is the most powderfool one


Resolution Numbah 1: SPEND MORE TIME WITH MA FRIENDS.

I read an article a friend shared on Facebook: http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/12/10-types-odd-friendships-youre-probably-part.html

It talks about how we categorise our friends in different quadrants and levels of closeness.

And the most important part of the article which was highlighted talks about the "Perpetual Catch-Up Trap"

The problem is, when you don’t make enough time for good friends, seeing them only for a meal and not that often—you end up spending each get-together catching up, and you never actually get to just enjoy the friendship or get far past the surface.

You don't get to enjoy being friends when you're too busy catching up. So true!!

So really, if you're my friend and you notice me asking you out every now and then, it means you're something to me and I WANT TO KEEP YOU AND ENJOY OUR FRIENDSHIP!

It's sad how 1 or 2 of some of my good friends... I can no longer connect coz of lack of meet ups and connection. The friendship has almost faded and I wonder whether or not to let it go or fight and hold on. Sad and quite depressing and my heart hasn't found a place to rest.

But before any of this happens to my other friends, I will keep every flame of friendship alive. Not just this year but every year to come. I will I will!!!







Meeting this bunch of crazy shenanigans a few nights ago shall kickstart my mission : )
What would I do w/o them really. I wish for the both of them a great 2015 year as well. To start anew, and afresh for a better life. To be free and happy : )



Resolution Numbah 2: GETTING (FIT)

Hahahaha, really? How am I gonna do that.

My mission: Run 2.4km at least twice a week.

All of you know how much I hate running. But recently I've been doing what I hate the most for at least twice a week, the past month. I've been challenging myself to get my body to do this thing that I hate. Yes, call me crazy, like why'd I wanna do that but I wanna see how much I can push myself and how long I can stick to my routine!!!!

Ya know... this is crazy but my friend Suxin and I are thinking of signing up for NTUC's 21km race, which will happen this April the 5th. I KNOW, IT'S CRAZYYYYY!!!!!!!!

I was the one who asked Suxin if she wanted to race with me. She said, "Oh the 21km one ah? Ok! Let's sign up for it!!!"

And I said, NO YOU GOONDU. I'm talking about the 10 KILOMETRES ONE. T E N . Not 21km you want me to die is it?!?!?!?! I haven't even tried 10 and you want me to JUMP TO 21?!?! IT'S FREAKIN HALF A MARATHON LEH HELLO?

Then I replied again, "But if you really want... I can say yes lah........"

And she was immediately all, YES LET'S DO IT. WE HAVE 4 MONTHS TO TRAIN WE CAN DO IT.

Then I died a little just thinking about it. Yet I feel excited about it, coz there's something to work towards!!! Wow. Something I really cannot imagine doing so soon?! But like, we are??! Unimaginable. Unbelievable.

Anyone wants to do a documentary on me?? Hahaha, going once, going twice.



Speaking of documentary...

It's not a resolution, but a wish.


A wish for 2015 : For my FYP TO BE AWESOME AND A MAJOR SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!


I must tell you, my team and I encountered this major hiccup right before I flew to Japan. Can you imagine how restless I was a lot of the time during my trip??

My mind has been filled with worries the past month. But I'm glad we're at least keeping it going. We will get through this, team. We will, we will, we will.

With 2015, we will start anew. And we will get that profile and reboot our documentary and get it started on an even better note now. This time, we will make it. WE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN.

We had a sit-down to discuss our feelings. Of coz there was the uncertainty and fear and the worries. They were definitely there and still are. But, I'm glad that we still have confidence that we will make it eventually. Zhuoda especially, touched my heart tremendously. Someone I didn't expect to have that amount of jest coz she's usually the quietest in our group... But she was the one who spoke of her confidence in us and how we will still make it through.

Seriously, sometimes my own team mates inspire me.

Whatever that's to come, I sincerely wish that I can wrap my 4 years of university with a bang this 2015.



My third and final Resolution:

Since, this is my graduation year, I'm gonna be starting on my mission and quest soon. Remember my ultimate dream post? Haha you can read it again here.

THIS is when it all begins. I will be 23 this year and I'm excited to be taking flight!!!!

So what my final resolution will be is: To achieve my first significant milestone in my career

Something that I'd be proud to have achieved when I look back upon 2015.

Andddd, I might know what I want to start off with. Remember what I said about wanting to go overseas to expand and broaden my horizons??

I'm thinking of signing up for this!

A global news internship for Associated Press. Anyone in the worldddd can apply for it. It is for students who will be graduating soon and trains students for video journalism.

AP is world renowned and has offices everywhere around the world. They are mainly based in the US.

But here's the catch, only 20 students will be selected.

How bloody tough is that? And from around the world! But I'm still giving it a shot. I believe I've a shot at this leh? I meet most or all of the criterions and all I have to do is sign up and see where it'll take me.

Of course I'm expecting to not get it also coz it's so bloody selective. Way more selective than go-far in school ok. Now I'm competing with THE WORLD goodness.

If I do get it... O M G .

I've decided where I would like to be based at if I were to snag this internship coz we're given three choices. And these are my choices -


1st choice: Jerusalem (Israel)
2nd choice: Rio De Janeiro (Brazil)
3rd choice: Washington D.C. (US)


AHHHH!!!!!!! So exciting right??!?!?!
Yes, I might be able to fulfil my long desired wish to go to Israel 2 years ago when my first choice for exchange had been Israel. New Zealand was actually my second choice if you didn't know!

But yes, again, this is all in the air. I'm waiting for my CNA boss to send me a reference letter and I needa do a 300-word write-up. FIGHT FOR ITTTTT. Fight fight fight!!!

The internship will be in June-August of this year. So yeap, a 3-months internship abroad.

If I don't get it, well, there will definitely be a plan B. Actually I already know what Plan B is, but I'll reveal it, if this internship plan doesn't go through ; )

And who knows, after this internship if I get it, I might just have a job in AP or something. And that's when it SEEERIOUSLY, begins!

Only time will tell~


2015, you'll be the start of everything. More adventures ahead and I, can't, wait.

I wish you a brilliant 2015 as well, reader. A very, very Happy New Year.