About me
A Singaporean girl chronicling her adventures of life here at home and abroad. Stick around!
Lim kopi jiak roti
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Hello! How has 2017 been for you?? :)
This coming 18th is supposed to be my probation date confirmation - which means my boss will look at the quality of my work and how far I've come so far in the 6 months that I've been at CNA, then determine whether I should stay or whether I'm out of the news department. (six months just flew by eh?? wow!) Sometimes I like to think the worst of things so I'd be mentally prepared. Sounds crazy but honestly, if I get laid off, I'd take it in my stride because whatever happens just happens. If I don't suit the newsroom then I don't suit the newsroom. It's like, if I get breast cancer today, I won't ask God, why me. Because things happen. And it ain't your fault. The world does not revolve around you. Things, just, happen.
So on Friday night, I got a message through the internal messaging system: "let's have a chat". It was my boss. Every time I get a message like that, my heart would do a flip 2 times. Alright, maybe three or four hahah. I knew right then, that she was probably going to talk about my probation. I took in a few breaths almost as if I was going to be told whether it was going to be a girl or a boy, only that the outcome was prolly going to be a lot more than just a simple baby gender prediction. I walked into the room behind her with a nervous spring in my step. Before the door closed, she turned around and said, "It's about your probation". I just nodded and thought to myself, well, this is it!
Right when we were about to sit down, she blurted it out. So fast that I couldn't quite catch what she said at that moment. Or maybe I was just so preoccupied in my own thoughts. My boss was straight up and there was no beating around the bush. She said:
"You're getting an extension."
My mind went, Extension? What's that mean??? What?? WhAt?? *alarm alarm alarm*
"We're extending your probation by 3 months because your writing still needs to improve."
At that point of time, my mind went blank. It was not ready for the third option: an extension. It's like you're waiting for this moment when you thought the guy was going to propose to you but he tells you he's gay. Then he asks if the both of you can still be friends. And you're like huh? Woah woah, wait a moment, I need to take this in.... Wait what?? That's not in any of the options for my MCQ Question. Cher, cher! There's a typo error right here in my exam paper hahah.
Anyway back to my situation, I shut out the mind going into red alert and listened to what she had to say - My news point needs to be sharpened. I haven't been getting my ledes right for my stories. That I will need to be producer-ready before they'd even let me go out reporting.
I know I was supposed to go into some panic mode but eventually, I understood why my probation had to be extended. It wasn't about me, it was about getting my craft signed, sealed and ready to be delivered. And I'd like to see this another way. I see it as something good. The thing with me is that I'm a slow learner. And I know it. Even before I entered the company, I prepared myself for this, that the learning curve will be steep and that it's going to take me a while before I get my groove. I take this extension thing as a challenge.
My track record has always been this way: I fall. I fall hard. Then I wake up. And I start climbing again. It'll take time, but I'll eventually make it. When I look at what's happened in my life, it's always been this way. It's always challenging at the beginning, but hey, with a bit of perseverance and determination, I will make it. I always do. At JC, my H2 Econs was so bad in Year 1. I was one of the bottom few in class and boy I struggled. It was so bad that I almost retained just because of my shitty Econs grade. Lucky I got an S or E, which was enough for me to be promoted. I took it in my stride, but I knew the hard work HAD to begin. I was asked to go for extra remedial lessons every Saturday in Year 2 because I was THAT bad. Selected students were asked to attend those lessons and I was one of the chosen ones. How special was I indeed haha. And boy did I work my ass off during those remedial lessons. I worked that ass off so hard. And thanks to my wonderful new econs teacher in Year 2 and remedial lesson coach, it paid off - I got an A for A levels. What's more? I had fallen in love with the subject, something I never could've predicted when I first started. I always begin at the back of the pack, never in front. But give me time (a lot of it), and I will show you.
It's the same for this. 3 months. Give me 3 months and I will prove to ya :)
I try not to take things so hard now. I'm slowly getting over the whole, "it's-me" thing. Sometimes it really just isn't about you. It's about your work and nothing about you as a person. The people around you want you to get better. Want you to do well. Nothing about how lazy or shitty you are as a person. And well, I don't want to take things personally anymore. It's time, to get CRACKIN'.
Some people ARE lazy pieces of shit, but I know that I am not. I'm a good hard worker and my work will show, just give me time.
I hope this helps you as well if you're struggling. Things will get better. They always do~ And well, if the worst happens, hey, shit happens man. Laugh in the face of the shit storm in front of ya and it'll get better trust me.
Aside from work (which is my life basically haha), I've been bored. I've got too much time. So much time that I think that if times were bad, I could hold two jobs. I'd say there's definitely work-life balance at this stage. Most of my time however, shall now be dedicated to reading more news before I start the workday. Also, I will be trying to exercise a lot more so that I will be fit enough to do another trek some time in May - my colleague has proposed we do the annapurna trek in Nepal together and I'm psyched. I'm down for it bro. There's a 21km run in April before I do that hike. So I'm gonna hit pasir ris park a lot more often these days. Running on a high - needing a lot of motivation.
But I think, I'm missing out a lot on meeting new people. I realise I NEED that social interaction. That extroverted side of me is screaming out. I haven't been socialising and I'm talking about new people, not friends. I'm getting so bored. I've unnecessary energy that goes nowhere. So sometimes I just go out to rollerblade just to get it off. Or watch TV and eat oranges. I need to meet people otherwise my life will be miserable like a potato.
And yeah maybe it's time I get a mate. I know all of you must be wondering why I'm still single after all this time, good lord I'm turning 25 this year and my love life is almost close to nada. Singapore must be so mad at me for not contributing to the TFR, jesus. It's partly my fault though. When I'm in Singapore, my social circle is so comfortable. I already have friends. While I was at school, I had so much things to do that'd occupy my time. But now, I'm just freakin bored. I've time on my hands. I had a lot of time on my hands last year as well, but it was mostly with family, especially my parents - to make up for lost time after being away for a while. But, it has come down to this - enough family time, they probably want to see me out and about. I bet they've questioned my sexuality too. I bet YOU'RE thinking the same, so let me get this straight (omg the pun). I've always been focused on school and I thought work would take up a huge chunk of my time but it seems like I'm getting by pretty well.
As the title of this post goes, if it happens, it happens.
So yeah, 2017 has been getting along pretty fine so far. Trying to take things as they are, and just live day by day. I know there will be challenges but I'm taking them as learning opps. Training ground for bigger things in store. Just you see!
This coming 18th is supposed to be my probation date confirmation - which means my boss will look at the quality of my work and how far I've come so far in the 6 months that I've been at CNA, then determine whether I should stay or whether I'm out of the news department. (six months just flew by eh?? wow!) Sometimes I like to think the worst of things so I'd be mentally prepared. Sounds crazy but honestly, if I get laid off, I'd take it in my stride because whatever happens just happens. If I don't suit the newsroom then I don't suit the newsroom. It's like, if I get breast cancer today, I won't ask God, why me. Because things happen. And it ain't your fault. The world does not revolve around you. Things, just, happen.
So on Friday night, I got a message through the internal messaging system: "let's have a chat". It was my boss. Every time I get a message like that, my heart would do a flip 2 times. Alright, maybe three or four hahah. I knew right then, that she was probably going to talk about my probation. I took in a few breaths almost as if I was going to be told whether it was going to be a girl or a boy, only that the outcome was prolly going to be a lot more than just a simple baby gender prediction. I walked into the room behind her with a nervous spring in my step. Before the door closed, she turned around and said, "It's about your probation". I just nodded and thought to myself, well, this is it!
Right when we were about to sit down, she blurted it out. So fast that I couldn't quite catch what she said at that moment. Or maybe I was just so preoccupied in my own thoughts. My boss was straight up and there was no beating around the bush. She said:
"You're getting an extension."
My mind went, Extension? What's that mean??? What?? WhAt?? *alarm alarm alarm*
"We're extending your probation by 3 months because your writing still needs to improve."
At that point of time, my mind went blank. It was not ready for the third option: an extension. It's like you're waiting for this moment when you thought the guy was going to propose to you but he tells you he's gay. Then he asks if the both of you can still be friends. And you're like huh? Woah woah, wait a moment, I need to take this in.... Wait what?? That's not in any of the options for my MCQ Question. Cher, cher! There's a typo error right here in my exam paper hahah.
Anyway back to my situation, I shut out the mind going into red alert and listened to what she had to say - My news point needs to be sharpened. I haven't been getting my ledes right for my stories. That I will need to be producer-ready before they'd even let me go out reporting.
I know I was supposed to go into some panic mode but eventually, I understood why my probation had to be extended. It wasn't about me, it was about getting my craft signed, sealed and ready to be delivered. And I'd like to see this another way. I see it as something good. The thing with me is that I'm a slow learner. And I know it. Even before I entered the company, I prepared myself for this, that the learning curve will be steep and that it's going to take me a while before I get my groove. I take this extension thing as a challenge.
My track record has always been this way: I fall. I fall hard. Then I wake up. And I start climbing again. It'll take time, but I'll eventually make it. When I look at what's happened in my life, it's always been this way. It's always challenging at the beginning, but hey, with a bit of perseverance and determination, I will make it. I always do. At JC, my H2 Econs was so bad in Year 1. I was one of the bottom few in class and boy I struggled. It was so bad that I almost retained just because of my shitty Econs grade. Lucky I got an S or E, which was enough for me to be promoted. I took it in my stride, but I knew the hard work HAD to begin. I was asked to go for extra remedial lessons every Saturday in Year 2 because I was THAT bad. Selected students were asked to attend those lessons and I was one of the chosen ones. How special was I indeed haha. And boy did I work my ass off during those remedial lessons. I worked that ass off so hard. And thanks to my wonderful new econs teacher in Year 2 and remedial lesson coach, it paid off - I got an A for A levels. What's more? I had fallen in love with the subject, something I never could've predicted when I first started. I always begin at the back of the pack, never in front. But give me time (a lot of it), and I will show you.
It's the same for this. 3 months. Give me 3 months and I will prove to ya :)
I try not to take things so hard now. I'm slowly getting over the whole, "it's-me" thing. Sometimes it really just isn't about you. It's about your work and nothing about you as a person. The people around you want you to get better. Want you to do well. Nothing about how lazy or shitty you are as a person. And well, I don't want to take things personally anymore. It's time, to get CRACKIN'.
Some people ARE lazy pieces of shit, but I know that I am not. I'm a good hard worker and my work will show, just give me time.
I hope this helps you as well if you're struggling. Things will get better. They always do~ And well, if the worst happens, hey, shit happens man. Laugh in the face of the shit storm in front of ya and it'll get better trust me.
Aside from work (which is my life basically haha), I've been bored. I've got too much time. So much time that I think that if times were bad, I could hold two jobs. I'd say there's definitely work-life balance at this stage. Most of my time however, shall now be dedicated to reading more news before I start the workday. Also, I will be trying to exercise a lot more so that I will be fit enough to do another trek some time in May - my colleague has proposed we do the annapurna trek in Nepal together and I'm psyched. I'm down for it bro. There's a 21km run in April before I do that hike. So I'm gonna hit pasir ris park a lot more often these days. Running on a high - needing a lot of motivation.
But I think, I'm missing out a lot on meeting new people. I realise I NEED that social interaction. That extroverted side of me is screaming out. I haven't been socialising and I'm talking about new people, not friends. I'm getting so bored. I've unnecessary energy that goes nowhere. So sometimes I just go out to rollerblade just to get it off. Or watch TV and eat oranges. I need to meet people otherwise my life will be miserable like a potato.
And yeah maybe it's time I get a mate. I know all of you must be wondering why I'm still single after all this time, good lord I'm turning 25 this year and my love life is almost close to nada. Singapore must be so mad at me for not contributing to the TFR, jesus. It's partly my fault though. When I'm in Singapore, my social circle is so comfortable. I already have friends. While I was at school, I had so much things to do that'd occupy my time. But now, I'm just freakin bored. I've time on my hands. I had a lot of time on my hands last year as well, but it was mostly with family, especially my parents - to make up for lost time after being away for a while. But, it has come down to this - enough family time, they probably want to see me out and about. I bet they've questioned my sexuality too. I bet YOU'RE thinking the same, so let me get this straight (omg the pun). I've always been focused on school and I thought work would take up a huge chunk of my time but it seems like I'm getting by pretty well.
As the title of this post goes, if it happens, it happens.
So yeah, 2017 has been getting along pretty fine so far. Trying to take things as they are, and just live day by day. I know there will be challenges but I'm taking them as learning opps. Training ground for bigger things in store. Just you see!
